Only One Animate Object on Man’s List of “Things He’s Thankful For”
Wife, Daughters Express Disappointment
The Williams family’s Thanksgiving dinner was marred when Karl Williams, husband and father of two lovely daughters, ticked off the things he was thankful for and listed only one animate object, Charlie, his golden retriever, at number 7.
After his lovely and eloquent wife Giselle spoke movingly about how thankful she was for her husband’s warmth and understanding and for their two beautiful and intelligent daughters, Mr. Williams eagerly addressed the theme. After listing the new iPhone 4S, his iPad, his new cashmere metallic Lexis LS, his half-empty bottle of Laphroaig, his new calfskin driving gloves, and the 1951 Fender Stratocaster that he recently purchased on e-Bay, he turned to the smiling, expectant faces of his family, saying he was also thankful “for the love and affection of his best friend in the world, Charlie.”
In a brief statement to the press, Giselle and daughters, Fawn, 12, and Carly, 9, said only that “while they, too, appreciated Charlie’s presence in their family, they thought it appropriate to also be thankful for the sentient, two-legged members of the family, at least some of whom occasionally appear among the accoutrements and largely wireless electronics that occupy most of Mr. Williams’ time.”
In response, Mr. Williams asked Siri to text the family that he loved them.