Voyd of Course

"It's like the Onion, only skinnier!" --Milton Swift "Still worth the price of the paper it's not printed on." --Felicia DuBois "The unspeakable, spoken." --Malin Wuptke "More interesting than computer solitaire, though perhaps not so effective a distraction from the void." --Harlan J. Rippington "Satire today, history tomorrow." --Steven Wallace

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Location: Santa Fe, NM, United States

In 1966, I wrote a fake newspaper article under the headline "JACK CASS SETS WORLD SHOWERING RECORD." Mr. Yohans, my 9th grade English teacher, liked it so well that he read it aloud--to much not-quite-suppressed giggling, at the sound of which, Mr Yohans said, "What? What? Did I miss something here?" I spent the rest of the afternoon in Principal Leon Duff's outer office. When Mr. Duff, who was a busy man, decided he didn't have time to see me, his secretary sent me back to the classroom, where I was greeted like McMurphy returning from solitary. Emboldened by my de facto exoneration, my friends began work on their own fake news stories. I remember a spate of Russian names in the stories, including "Ivan Kutchikokoff" and "Ivan Jerkinov." Needless to say, our newly suspicious teacher sent both of my friends to Mr. Duff's office, where they were not as bureaucratically blessed as I had been. They sat detention for a week. This I took as a lesson in subtlety--and in how to start a commotion and slip from the room before the law comes down.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Local News

In bold move, local teen activist Charles Spurrier displays "bumper" sticker on car trunk


Driver “Changing the World One Errand at a Time”

Albuquerque—Sporting a red-lettered “STOP THE WAR” sticker on the trunk of his battered white Toyota Tercel, anti-war activist Charles Spurrier made what he called a “late afternoon raid” on a Republican stronghold when he decided to purchase his latte at a Rio Grande-area Starbucks. “I could have gone to Nob Hill on the university side of town,” an exhilarated Spurrier said. “But I wanted to make a stand.” The dangerous afternoon mission went unnoticed by residents of the Rio Grande district, who were following a late afternoon stock market rally on their wi-fied laptops at the time.


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